Language of Love

So, how did it go over the past 24 hrs?

Yes, I kept my word. I’m calling you to the task.

What did you learn about yourself over the past 24 hrs? Answer in the comments. But, wait! There are other questions coming. Jot down your responses and at the end, comment your full response. ♥

Your discovery will help you live a better life of thank you.

We can look at the why when we are aware of what we’re saying.

I’m assuming, here, that you kept notes of what you said over the past 24 hrs.

So, take a look at your notes of those things said.

Are they the same words you heard growing up?

Suzie said:

You aren’t stuck with that second-hand love language. God is bigger than your past and he promises to help you.

These words may have come from weariness or downheartedness. It’s ok to be truthful about it, because, it enables you to understand and handle effectively with the heart of the matter.

Suzie asks:

If you are tired (and most of us are), what changes need to be made? I realize that caregivers and new mamas don’t get sleep. There are some seasons that are harder. So, is there anything that can be changed? If your schedule is overpacked, will you give yourself permission to pare it down as much as you can?

We each have a right to rest, spend time with family, and take a time out. We’re not obliged to be everything to everyone all the time. We need a balance. Do what works for you.

Your words may be a bad habit. It happens! Even to me. You don’t have to keep doing it. You can change it. You can create a new habit.

Being aware of why progresses to how.

Suzie asks:

How do you begin to learn a new love language, one that helps you and your loved ones live a life of thank you?

• Pray
  • Invite Yahweh into your process. He delights in it. He loves you and wants to be part of it.
• Listen to what they are saying
  • Listen with intention. To the end. Do not be thinking of a response. Wait till the end. It’s not just about listening to ourselves. It’s about listening to who’s right in front of us. It’s not easy. It’s a skill. It can be learned. Once it’s in place it becomes 2nd nature. We don’t even have to think about it. It just happens. But, it takes work and practice. It makes all the difference in the world. This creates a conversation. No, the other way is not. It changes into a conversation.
• Use a lot less words
  • Fact: Raised voices turns people off. It shuts them down. A gentle voice suddenly gets people’s attention.
  • It takes practice and time to to get it. {This is an area I struggle with because when I get excited in any way my voice raises. I think this happens to most people. But, for me, it sounds like yelling, because I have a large voice anyway. It throws people sometimes. There is a time and place for it, though. I just have to remember it.} Being stuck in it can be exhausting. A new habit can be learned. We don’t have to stay stuck in it.
  • You can also hold a person responsible for their words. For example; if someone says they’re going to do something and they don’t do it, you can point it out and not let them get away with it, without being harsh. Just give a gentle reminder.

Suzie quote: Replace words with simple action. A touch. A gentle kiss. A pat on the arm. A stick of gum left on a pillow with a tender or silly note.

• Stop doing it alone
  • There’s no shame in asking for help. That help can come from various sources.
• Allow for do-overs
  • Sincere apologies can be the best language of love.
  • Perfection is not the goal.
  • Do-overs mean a fresh start.
  • No pulling out of wrongs from before because forgiveness is a clean break.

Suzie quote: New mercies. New beginnings. Just like we are given by God every day.

My love language will not sound like yours

You’ll grow an authentic language of love all your own, that makes sense to you and works for you. I’ve had some lively conversations with my husband. We do it with intention and listen to each other.

Honor your conversations and let them grow into something beautiful. Make it suitable for you.

It will be a process. Allow for growth. Add love. Be patient. There will be some give and take to make it work.

Below is a list of scripture to aid in your process. Read them.

A journalling challenge from Suzie:

Day #9 of Living a Life of Thank You

Journal a prayer inviting God into your new love language. Show him the areas where you need help. Celebrate with him over those words that encouraged, or taught, or lifted up.

Q: Were you surprised at the results of your 24-hour challenge? (See yesterday’s blog post if you missed this.)

Read scripture. Each of these speaks of the power of our words.

Q: In what ways do you hope to enrich or change your love language?

My responses: A1: Yes, I was surprised. Instead of being argumentative and complaining about something, I put some thought into a conversation. I replied in a positive way. I made my husband slightly tear up and very happy. His countenance changed. His demeanor was happy and light. A2: I’ll work on being more positive and lower my voice. It’s a conscious effort. I’ll be more aware of my voice volume and keep it gentle.

Your turn!!