Raise your hand if you struggle with someone giving you a compliment. I used to.
Someone would tell me they liked my outfit. I’d give some deflecting response like, “What, this old thing?”
Another would tell me they thought my hair was pretty. I’d also give them a deflecting remark like, “If if weren’t like Kramer’s hair and it was easier to care for It’d be better for me.”
A friend said to me once, “You don’t take compliments very well!” I asked, “What do you mean?” They commenced into explaining what they meant. Basically, they told me it was ok to accept a compliment and just say thank you, because, my responses to them were “rude”. I was horrified that I would be rude to my friend. Much less rude to Yahweh as well.
Suzie said: “There’s a lot of reasons that can happen. We don’t believe it. We don’t want to be vain. Regardless of the reason, we need to listen to ourselves.”
It was after that I started to be aware of my words. I needed to change my conversation, with help from Yahweh.
You know how when you want to buy a certain kind of car and all of a sudden you start seeing that type of car everywhere? This conversation works the same way. You start noticing other women saying deflecting remarks to compliments given to them.
Suzie said: “Like a game of verbal ping pong we negate the good, bringing it down a notch. . . or two or three.”
For me, instead of deflecting now, I just say thank you. If it is about my outfit or shoes, I ask my friend if she would like to know where I got the item(s), if she didn’t ask.
It’s obvious that society dictates to young girls and young woman what beauty is. It affects us into old age.
The most effective way to handle all this is to be the example and elevate our words of self-worth around girls and women.
This past week we’ve been talking about changing our conversation to intentional gratitude. It’s been powerful.
If we want women to accept our compliments and believe us, we need to take a compliment ourselves.
Suzie said: “Changing the conversation matters, because it doesn’t just change the conversation, it has the power to change you!”
Suzie’s challenge questions:
Day #10 of Living a Life of Thank You
Q: Why might you struggle to take a compliment?
Q: Why might this be important spiritually?
- If you are afraid it will lead to vanity or pride, reflect instead of deflecting.
- Thank God for that kind friend who went out of her way to say something nice. Thank God for those comfortable shoes that also are fun to wear. Thank God that someone was blessed by what you did or said. This totally changes the compliment into a time of intentional gratitude!
A1: In my past, I felt that I didn’t deserve it and was unworthy of it, also that I was being prideful and immodest.
A2: We’re made in Yahweh’s image. He likes to be praised. When we deflect a compliment that’s sincere it’s like telling Yahweh he’s not good or that he’s unworthy. How awful is that? It’s mortifying to think that I’d be doing that to Yahweh. So, instead of deflecting, it’s important now to be reflective. Meaning, I reflect (like a mirror) Yahweh and be grateful, intentionally, expressing Yahweh’s awesome character.
This is the end of week 2 of Living A Life Of Thank You!
Your turn! Comment your responses to this topic.